Terrorists in Vacationland

Gentle Readers,

It's happened again. The terrorists have been to Maine. It's all too familiar. Shortly after 9/11, when everyone was in a panic over if/when/where terrorists would strike again, our senator addressed the concerned citizens of Maine and explained that we really had nothing to worry about. Portland, the largest city in Maine, really held nothing of value for them to target, etc. I disagree. They had already been to Maine...and apparently liked it. The 911 terrorists ate at OUR Pizza Hut in South Portland, they bought some of the equipment they would use to help kill thousands at OUR Wal-Mart in South Portland. They spent the night before at hotel a hundred yards from where I worked at the time. They flew out of OUR airport in to Boston. Oh, yes, they had been here...and would return.

Why, oh why would terrorists come to our fair Maine? Same reason most do. It's Vacationland. It's laid back. It's peaceful and slow-paced. Many people still leave doors unlocked, children play in the streets, trout jump happily in streams, LL Bean thrives here. We have long hard winters, but we play hard when winter is done. Though things take their sweet time in Maine, people are mostly good-natured, simple folk. Comedian Tim Sample joked that you could rob a bank and keep the money under a blue tarp in the yard and no one would look under it or even be suspicious. We assume it's protecting next winter's fire wood, engine parts for that "cah" you've been rebuildin for the last 15 summahs or your freshly painted "lobstah" pots or buoys.

So, in the last couple of days, the FBI has once again been invited to focus on Maine during the war on terror. We Mainers aren't much used to warring. Last time we got involved seriously on our own soil was the Civil War protecting our ports. The FBI were in South Portland a few days ago collecting someone with suspected ties to the Times Square attempted bombing debacle.

So...fellow Mainers...what to do? I say nothing. Maine is the way life should be. It's our motto. So, we'll continue walking the pier in Old Orchard Beach, kayaking in the lakes region, white-water rafting in the county and antiquing in York County. Because nothing can pluse a Mainer. There will just be more conversations that begin with "Ahyah, Bob, 'nuthah, terrahism scah, down South Portland way. Idn't that sumthan?"

Daily Random Musing: Remember when orange juice came in Tropicana (top of the line), Donald Duck (from concentrate), brand X from concentrate or in a frozen can that you'd mix up yourself? Now...the number of brands and varieties of orange juice boggle my mind. Vitamin enriched, half-sugar, sugar-free, low-acid, no pulp, some pulp, pulp-a-licious, pulp-tastic...I-can't-believe-it's-got-pulp. Stop the insanity. How many options do we truly need???

SVU Episode PC with Kathy Griffin

Gentle readers,

It's mostly my health that has kept me away from my blog the last year and a half. It is that sweet, sweet muse Mariska Hargitay and her character Olivia Benson that brings me back to my keyboard. Last night's episode, which I have nicknamed LesBeConfused, was like a warm hug and a soft kiss combined with an unexpected knee to the mid-section and foot stomp.

It was an episode about lesbians with bunches of lesbian characters. Yay!!! It was an episode in which although lesbians died, none were villains. Yay!!! It was an episode about women empowering themselves to find a criminal tormenting their community. Yay!!! It was supposed to be an episode in which Olivia Benson finally kisses a female. YAY! The female is Kathy Griffin's Babs Duffy and not Stephanie March's Alex Cabot. Okay...fine. But...wait! At the last moment, Dick Wolf, in his infinite wisdom as Law & Order's Grand Pooba, cut the kiss. Now, this kiss was quite literally a split second brushing of lips. The scene surrounding that remained entirely intact, including a rather homophobic quip by Olivia Benson's character. HUH? This would possibly make sense if Law & Order hadn't previously touted itself as a champion of LGBT issues and had GLAAD awards poured upon them for their brilliant previous handling of issues.

Last night was not such an episode, yet it could have been. I would have been okay with almost everything else had the kiss been left in. The result of the "near kiss" was Olivia, who announces herself as straight after the kiss, begins to question herself and her sexuality in a conversation with Chris Meloni's Elliot Stabler.

Kathy Griffin delivers a solid performance and my favorite scene was her drooling over the blond-haired, blue-eyed, long-legged Alex Cabot as any red-blooded lesbian would...or anyone with a pulse. She stopped. She stared. She was in awe. Well done, Ms. Griffin!!!

And Mariska...she delivers a tour de force performance where Olivia leads the "perp" to believe she is a lesbian, quite convincingly, to get him to confess. It was money. Loved it.

Then...and here's that knee shot I was talking about, Bab's full on kisses Elliot Stabler. Why wasn't that kiss cut, Dick Wolf??? And so...Mr. Gay Rights kicks us in the teeth in the end.

Is there a way to redeem himself? Of course there is. Have Olivia's first lesbian kiss be with Alex Cabot as it should be. Whether she decides she's gay or not, clearly there are questions to be answered and territory that needs to be covered to bring this issue to a reasonable resolution.

Will I keep watching SVU? Of course I will as long as Mariska is the star.

Random Musing of the day: Why is it that TV is peppered with ads for pharmaceuticals that deal with erectile dysfunction and issues of the prostate and yet all you need to do to make most men blush and run is say ovaries or uterus? I have had to explain the ins and outs of male plumbing to Daughter, age five, because these commercials air during children's or family programming. I understand it must be disconcerting to suffer these horrible conditions and we must spread the word on these wonderful medications...but really? During Dora?? Honestly?