Terrorists in Vacationland

Gentle Readers,

It's happened again. The terrorists have been to Maine. It's all too familiar. Shortly after 9/11, when everyone was in a panic over if/when/where terrorists would strike again, our senator addressed the concerned citizens of Maine and explained that we really had nothing to worry about. Portland, the largest city in Maine, really held nothing of value for them to target, etc. I disagree. They had already been to Maine...and apparently liked it. The 911 terrorists ate at OUR Pizza Hut in South Portland, they bought some of the equipment they would use to help kill thousands at OUR Wal-Mart in South Portland. They spent the night before at hotel a hundred yards from where I worked at the time. They flew out of OUR airport in to Boston. Oh, yes, they had been here...and would return.

Why, oh why would terrorists come to our fair Maine? Same reason most do. It's Vacationland. It's laid back. It's peaceful and slow-paced. Many people still leave doors unlocked, children play in the streets, trout jump happily in streams, LL Bean thrives here. We have long hard winters, but we play hard when winter is done. Though things take their sweet time in Maine, people are mostly good-natured, simple folk. Comedian Tim Sample joked that you could rob a bank and keep the money under a blue tarp in the yard and no one would look under it or even be suspicious. We assume it's protecting next winter's fire wood, engine parts for that "cah" you've been rebuildin for the last 15 summahs or your freshly painted "lobstah" pots or buoys.

So, in the last couple of days, the FBI has once again been invited to focus on Maine during the war on terror. We Mainers aren't much used to warring. Last time we got involved seriously on our own soil was the Civil War protecting our ports. The FBI were in South Portland a few days ago collecting someone with suspected ties to the Times Square attempted bombing debacle.

So...fellow Mainers...what to do? I say nothing. Maine is the way life should be. It's our motto. So, we'll continue walking the pier in Old Orchard Beach, kayaking in the lakes region, white-water rafting in the county and antiquing in York County. Because nothing can pluse a Mainer. There will just be more conversations that begin with "Ahyah, Bob, 'nuthah, terrahism scah, down South Portland way. Idn't that sumthan?"

Daily Random Musing: Remember when orange juice came in Tropicana (top of the line), Donald Duck (from concentrate), brand X from concentrate or in a frozen can that you'd mix up yourself? Now...the number of brands and varieties of orange juice boggle my mind. Vitamin enriched, half-sugar, sugar-free, low-acid, no pulp, some pulp, pulp-a-licious, pulp-tastic...I-can't-believe-it's-got-pulp. Stop the insanity. How many options do we truly need???